Rosie, Ellen, K.D.

Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen, K.D.Lang - I think they all knew at an early age, but talk about hiding it and having private parties where they could be themselves, until they all came out, one by one. I watched a couple of movies about lesbian women after marriage - they had been married but then discovered they had this urge while they were still married - they found themselves attracted to someone.  In these movies, it got pretty rough to watch - I guess that is life.  I found that I raised my children after my husband left and then "came out" and started to look to date women. I guess I didn't want people in and out of my children's lives - the stereotype of divorced people these days has many of them moving in with someone quickly and exposing their children to a great deal.  I was attracted to people before that, but they weren't exactly open to the gay aspect anyway.  So the movies were depressing.  I'm not sure how true that is to life?  Is being a lesbian and coming out while married always devastating long term.  The new relationships can't work out because of the old?  I hope not, but I guess it is who your husband is and new partner.  Can people work things out for the kids?  It certainly calls for the husband to put his personal feelings aside for the children.  I know 2 women who were together and the woman stayed married because her husband needed her insurance.  That's pretty mature. And he became friends with the new partner.  Life does throw us many curve balls, doesn't it.  I guess that is what I was getting from the movies, you can wake up in the morning and your whole world can change that day.  Good or bad. Big or small.  Another question this brings up for me is when you are married, how many ways are there to figure out you might be gay - do you fall in love with another woman, do you just find yourself very drawn to another woman, do you just start questioning yourself?  All food for thought.  Some women know when they are very young and why do some not figure it out until later.  Again, I have the continuum theory and I believe I've moved along the continuum to a point I couldn't go back to men, but when I was 22 that was the only world I knew and I was very attracted to my husband, so have I moved along that continuum?  Did I need a husband so I could have 3 wonderful kids? All food for thought. I guess I wouldn't have traded that part of my life where I had my children with their father - we had our good times - and then I get this wonderful life, in a relationship with a great woman for 5 years now.  Gay teen or gay after marriage. Life is life.
Chris    -   Empower Network