Where have I been? How was your summer?!!

I have had a wonderful summer. Unfortunately, we are in the last part of summer, but I could use some structure again. Things have been pretty loose, and I found I don't do real well with
too much free time. I get less done. I did make a list of some things to do this summer and I am
close to accomplishing many of them - including some gay prides, golf, tennis, friends, Chicago,
Michigan, women's music festivals, a women's picnic, and other things. I also have been trying to see more of my children, but they seem to be pretty busy. But we are all more relaxed. I have 3 adult children who are all doing well and accept me and my partner. Another dimension to that is that their future partners, boyfriends and/or girlfriends know about their mother and are they all okay with my lifestyle. Meeting fiances etc. involves the fiance's parents also being okay with my lesbianism. I am amazed at the ripple effect. I have not run into issues yet, as my children tend to pick liberal thinkers, but I am often the "first" introduction to the gay world for many of the people. I can get uncomfortable with that.
For my partner, her family is not quite so accepting, so the struggle is different. I find myself trying to do some serious schmoozing - the truth is, I am really a great person, and who I choose to sleep with has no impact on who I am in the world, but for many, we are judged for who we sleep with.
It seems I've digressed from my headline, but these issues have appeared over the summer, so there it is.
all in all, life is good. Please feel free to make comments, offer input, ask questions.
PEACE and JOY,
Chris

summer possibilities

I look forward to hearing from women who have the experience of discovering their sexual orientation later in life and/or after marriage, or later in life. Are you sitting home with no one to talk to, feeling alone or isolated because you are scared, don't know what to do next, don't know who to tell, not sure who to trust, etc. The internet sure has helped this situation a great deal because resources are now more available, but we can't trust everything on the internet either.
I am working on putting together my website and resources for women who are on the continuum of coming out - all the way from that first question about your feelings about another woman to a full-fledged knowledge that yes, I am a lesbian and will only be with women.
This site is www.lesbiansaftermarriage.com and as of this date, it is still a work in progress.

Good news about progress in California - gay marriage. I am very happy to hear this. I attempt to support these organizations that fight for these rights and fight against the fundamentalists who wish to ban all rights to gay people. Two of them are lambda legal and the human rights campaign.

Please feel free to call Chris at 815-505-4923 if you feel I could be of any help, or visit our website. We are all about integrity, honesty, and confidentiality. My partner and I are both professionals who believe it is everyone's individual choice to do what they need to do about
sharing their sexual orientation with anyone.

Chris

life in the lesbian world

Well, I'm back. It has been a while. Life is so busy. This summer I was busy catching up on work things, catch up on fun with my partner, and now back to the internet. I hope to provide as much helpful information as I can and provide resources, information, and support for those coming out or newly out. I have been to some pride events and saw Cris Williamson, a lesbian music icon recently at the NWMF. It is always great to be in a setting with lgbt people.
I also JUST found a Kate Clinton video on Logo TV website and it plays part of her comedy routine. I love her!! She is so funny.
We also have future lgbt plans this summer - making some conscious decisions to look for such events to support and receive our own affirmation of normalcy. Isn't it great.
Last night on FX I saw a new "30 Days" and it was a reality show of a "conservative female" who spent with 2 gay men and their foster/adopted sons. It also was interesting, fun to watch and I was hoping for her to become more accepting, as did the 2 men, but I'm not sure that happened.
She left very distressed in that she could not approve of gay/lesbian couples adopting. It was sad but educational. The woman was open to visiting different groups, etc. working with glbt's and also met with the foster agency to find the sad state of kids left in foster care, etc. I respected her openness in meeting others, but at the same time, she maintained one thought in her head - it is morally wrong in her mind.
I am very fortunate to live in a world where I am accepted by my children and my friends and family members. I feel no discrimination in these worlds and I am very lucky. I know not everyone is this blessed.
I will leave for now. Please add your comments, news, info. for others to attend. Also, continue visiting places that support lgbt people. Also very exciting is the approval of gay marriage in California since my last blog. That deserves it's own blog, don't you think. I do. So it shall be.

Peace,
Chris

How goes it??

Hi. it's a gloomy sunday today - i know that for many of us, the winter has been hard and this is yet another gloomy sunday. I have found Sundays to always be gloomy and difficult.
My partner commented that one of the issues that helped her was the advice of some lesbian friends about the types of personalities out in the dating world and how that looks when it is women dating women. Not all are emotionally healthy and work out many of their unresolved issues through their dating relationships. Actually, that is what relationships are partially for - working out our own issues. I know I learn a lot in the context of a relationship that I would NOT learn alone. I have always had many friends, but there are many more challenges in the intimate relationship, and then when one has 2 women involved, that brins another set of dynamics. None of this is wrong or right, it just is. We are in the process of living.
Pardon my advertisement above for the super affiliate handbook - I am in the process of developing multiple streams of income for myself, in hopes of living the best and fullest life ever. My partner and I love to travel, but as we know, this takes money!! I also am getting older and I want to have fun in my later years. My children are now on their own and doing well, so I have freedom.
If you would like to let us know about types of women that live a "stereotypical" lesbian lifestyle, let us know. That info was helpful to my partner.
For now, peace to you,
Chris

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Are we tired of winter? Spring Fever???

YES, YES, YES!!!! I would guess this would be from someone in the midwest - not from someone living in those tropical places - We're thinking of you. I have only seen one day above 60 since last November - that is unusual.
We would appreciate comments about great places to visit - where you can be yourself and feel accepted for who you are. Info - I watched a show - In the Life - on PBS the other night- a show recognizing gays and lesbians. One segment was about the storybook about the true story of gay penguins in the New York City zoo - And Tango Makes 3 - written by 2 men, but banned by many. They also talked about discrimination in Poland but in many of these situations, progress is always being made - services like Lambda Legal and HRC are fighting for our rights. I personally support them when I can.
There are women's fests and gay pride events coming up this summer - I will include a link to
these schedules soon. I just watched the end of women's week in Palm Springs, CA with the Dinah Shore/Nabisco golf championship.
Peace,
Chris
Feel free to send your input and questions.

Some recommendations

I have included some movies and books that I found to be very enjoyable when I was living with my children and not really out to anybody - but myself, that is. I also had reason to not have people know about my process and questioning - certainly not until I was sure. I would attend those concerts, go out of town, watch videos - bought on-line. I would also read many of these books and lesbian fiction - it always seemed when I went to the bookstore, someone I knew would be there - was afraid to be seen in "that" section - wow, what a process. I've come a long way. Not everyone starts in the same place - some people would be much more comfortable than I was. Others, less comfortable.

So, please consider my suggestions and feel free to make your own suggestions.

Peace and Joy,
Chris

coming out later????

This blog is for women and about women who come out later in life - women who are exploring their sexual orientation later in life, perhaps after marriage, children, etc. Whether it happens when they meet that special woman, or perhaps they just find themselves attracted to someone special and it does not go past that, but they then begin exploring what the heck is going on. Women need someone to talk to. I have a friend who drove 60 miles to find someone without risk. I myself found myself going to see gay singers alone and watching the crowd around me.
Soaking up the atmosphere, so to speak. I would love being in environments where there were gay people, but it was hard to find such opportunities.

I found I loved to go on the gay websites I knew about and eventually began the gay dating sites. I was older at this time, and my children were older at this time - no one knew, but I needed to be sure - I'm guessing that if we are exploring, we PROBABLY ARE. Otherwise, why would it be such a temptation - but perhaps that's just MY perspective - what is yours?
In peace,
Chris

Lesbians afte 30

We have started this website, blog, and google group for the benefit of women who are coming out later in life.

Write us, share with us, and ask your questions. We hope to grow this website and service to help many women who might be struggling with their discovery about their sexual orientation - perhaps post-marriage, children, etc.



The day happens when we meet that special woman who creates new feelings, passion, perhaps an obsession in our lives, and that one woman is the introduction to our exploring our own beliefs about our sexuality - are we Lesbians or are we just temporarily infatuated with this woman - after all, we don't really FEEL like a different person - I am still the same!! This is all part of the
struggle that is hard to go through ALONE. Especially when you have a crush on another woman but you do not know how they feel? Also, I have other people in my life.

I am going to close this post tonite - please feel free to write.
Peace,
Chris

We're thinking of you!!

Please note that this is a support blog - not based on sexual content - I notice that the word lesbian brings up much pornographic material on the internet. I am not sure how to separate us from that genre, but I hope that those looking for honest support and someone to talk to will
find us. There are a number of political issues going on and still much homophobia and discrimination going on and we hope to be a safe "normal" place on the internet. There are many women who have lived traditional lives who may be seeking a listening ear out of fear, confusion, etc.

We are here to help you - let us know what you need. We are busy being as creative as possible - a year from now we expect a whole new website, but we didn't want to wait for a finished project. There is so much going on, so it is a work in progress!! We hope to come up with our Lesbian Survival Kit.
So get on board and tell us what you need. When I have offered my one-day workshops there is
always interest in the area just where I live. We know there are many more women who need support and help. We hope to come up with on-line information, support materials, and offer groups in the Chicago area.
Please stay in touch.
Joy,
Chris

website is in progress

We have started a new website and hope to offer services, links, resources, ideas, etc. for women and will make every effort to make this a website of value, ethics, and quality, as is our hope for
this blog and for google groups. This service is being provided by myself, a licensed clinical professional counselor, and my partner, a registered nurse. We have both been married, raised children, and have come out later as lesbians, with our children, family, and friends. We look forward to serving you.
PEACE
Chris

peace and joy

I am adding to my blog today. I hope to start a google group but I was not able to get in today.
I hope to offer services based on my experiences and help others not have to reinvent the wheel, so to speak. I also hope to offfer support and validation for women struggling with this journey themselves. It is quite a journey with no map. But, I guess if we do not take some of these risks, then what is life about. I have found a great deal of peace and joy in my life. If I hadn't done this
leap off a cliff, then I would be living a busy life, but something would be missing.
I believe women can be incredible in every sense of the word. I have been loved a great deal since I accepted this about myself, and I hope that for other people. But even if someone does not enter into a new relationship, she will be happier with herself for being honest.
I hope to offer resources, ideas, recommendations over time and perhaps a lesbian website. An
advice column will be a part of this website.
I am a therapist with a spiritual background, and have continued doing my own "work" and
continue moving forward in my own growth. What fun.
for now- in peace
spring is coming.
Chris

and the saga continues

I am returning to add to my blog. Life gets very hectic. I am working as a counselor and seem to develop ADHD with my age - can't narrow down my activities. I continue in my wonderful
relationship, I have 3 of my own adult children who I miss. I do not see them much currently - it seems I have 2 lives. I am also hoping to add a lesbian after marriage website and also include
much in the way of resources, information, etc. I have attempted to add a support group and have offered it in the area, but I have not received enough participants. I hope to continue offering this service, as there is a need.