Lesbian TV/Movies

Lesbian TV/Movies

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Lesbian Kissing

Are you excitedly waiting for a new show or old show that is returning this fall season.  Considering the focus of this blog, I will speak of some I enjoy.  Actually, I may not even watch the entire shows, but have come to love the magic of youtube.  Not everyone makes use of this little gem.  The wonders of my smart phone.
Most of us know - Callie was always with men and then discovered WOMEN on the show, Grey's Anatomy. So many fun episodes to watch, but also heartbreaking episodes. Again, the sad part is that the gay couples seldom make it. The Fosters' is one of the few I know that make it in movies and tv.

Youtube creators have made a business out of putting scenes together that are very appealing and/or related.  So, when there is a lesbian relationship you like, you can often find many videos that you enjoy.  Since the blog originated as women who were in relationships with men, and now are with women, I will focus on some of them today.  

Because I really enjoy the lesbian aspect of tv/video, this discovery has been good for me, otherwise I’d be watching the same lesbian movies over and over again.  And that can get old.  

So let’s start with The Fosters.  Hot, hot, hot.  There is a lot of drama from all the teens but it is a show that does address the social issues of the day, so I enjoy that aspect.

So Steph was married, had a son, was getting a divorce, and Boom - she meets Lena.  They are now married and parenting all these children.  I have loved how they have evolved and gone through relationship issues, and ex’s issues.  You can watch times those 2 are together on youtube.  But you can currently watch the entire show on Netflix, and the new seasons are on the CW.  There is also a child who is gay.  

I will not say a lot more about this show, because I don’t want  to give away surprises.  Check it out.

Lesbian TV/Movies 

Equality for All

Another show addressing the lesbian after marriage issue is Last Tango in Halifax with
Caroline and Kate. Caroline was married and her husband cheated on her.  She has 2 sons.  She is

a very together professional in the series.  During the separation, she starts a close friendship with Kate that morphs into a lot more.  So, again the dynamics surrounding the children’s response to coming out, the ex husband’s, the employment and also, a major part here includes her mother’s perception.  Great lesbian kissing here.  Best I’ve seen from an older couple - not that old, but not 22 years old, either.  This show is only on Netflix as it is a British show

Gay Republican?

Gay Republican?

What do you think of the Republicans?
Is there a connection between politics and your sexual orientation?  I have always heard of Log Cabin Republicans - these are republicans who are gay.  I never understood how the 2 go together, but I think it is more about financial/fiscal philosophy than social responsibility.  But it is also true that the Republican party is not recognizable any longer.  The republican congress and senate are now so extreme, I don't know how you could be both.

Gay Republican?

I personally assume that the fact that one is LGBQT in this society would make a person more aware of the difficulties people face, including prejudice, discrimination, lack of rights, etc. But from what I've seen, the republicans in Washington want to take away rights of the middle class and poor.  So does it work to be a Gay Republican if you are in the top 1%.  I am not bashing here, merely wondering out loud how that would happen.  I must admit that I tend toward a populist,socialist philosophy.  I would like universal health care, affordability for housing, jobs.  I have been around awhile and have seen the shrinking of that middle class because of Republican views - Reagan's trickle down economics certainly doesn't help the poor.  Their unwillingness to put money in social programs does not help the people.  Often LGBQT people are homeless as youth, are oppressed, subjected to losing a job because they are gay.  Just look what happens in the south.  Signs in windows saying we will not serve you if you are gay.  The circuit clerk in Kentucky refusing a marriage license to a lesbian couple.  This is where I have to wonder "How?"

Gay Republican?

Again, no judgment here.  I am a bit tainted right now about what I see that a few republican congressmen are saying about women's rights, rape, domestic violence, right to services, and it is INSANE!  I'm not sure how to put it all together.  I personally am a very liberal progressive.  In my mind it means we have gone backwards in how we treat people and we need to go forward again.  We need to help with school loans, taxes, better paying jobs, treat all people equally.  Blacks, hispanics, LGBQT, women should not be seen as less than anyone or anything.  I am so proud to be a lesbian and we have Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell, Jody Foster, Rachel Maddow, Stephanie Miller, Melissa Etheridge, Kate Clinton, to name a few strong women who make a difference in the world and care about people.  Good company to keep.  

Lesbian Coming Out Question

Lesbians- hello.  This blog is for anyone, but from my own experience I had different struggles with realizing I was gay, with children, etc.  I was already divorced, but so many things went into play.  If you are a "lesbian after marriage" i.e. someone who realized after you had a family in the heterosexual sense, this is the group I'm addressing.

Lesbians at all ages have struggles, all different.  I've known people who knew they were gay early on and never dated men.  The variation on whether their families accepted them or not.  Did their friends give up on them?  How did they feel about themselves?  Same questions for "lesbians after marriage" but some variants are included.  I had 3 children.  I had friends who only saw me one way.  Truly, a very few had wondered, but never said anything.

How does one tell their teen/young adult children that they prefer women to date?

How does one tell their friends that the person they have known all those years is different, and/or lying to them, as may be perceived?

How does one tell their birth family when they might be 40 years old, and "By the way, I'm gay."

I seriously do have some PTSD from those moments.  I had one friend go with me to tell other friends.  One of my issues is that I am an empath - which means I respond to others' emotions and needs, sometimes over my own needs.  So when I told all these people, I was deeply concerned about them.  One friend - who remains a close friend - still struggles with my not telling them before - and this was 16 years ago.  She feels like she may have been insensitive and that I should have told her.

Lesbians After Marriage

My question to you is:  Is there a defining moment?  That time when you just know for sure that you choose women over men. 

  Another question is Does that make me "bi"?  I say no, because since that self-exploration, I've never wanted to go back to dating men.  There is nothing in me that says "Date Men" or "I'm attracted to men."  Now, I love male energy.  I have sons who I'm crazy about, and grandsons.  It is not about that.  In schools, I enjoy male energy a great deal.  But when it comes to the intimacy I choose women.

Question 2:  Do you believe sexuality is on the continuum, and using that idea, does that mean I crossed over the middle and could only be a lesbian?   

Some food for thought for all of you.  Leave comments. 

Politics, Gays, and Women - Part 2

lesbians after marriage have more fun

Politics, gays, and women.  I'm writing for a couple of blogs lately and currently working full time at a new job - just for 2 months.  I am working with teenagers and I love it.  I love showing them unconditional positive regard.  It is fun to see the gay teens, the number of transgender teens.  I am not saying it is easy for them, as I am sure it is not.  But I am an older gay person who has seen many changes in my life, and the fact that 2 girls can kiss or hold hands in a high school and not be afraid.  Progress.  I just heard our Attorney General Loretta Lynch speak about progress being made and then fights to have to keep that progress.  She was at Stonewall when being interviewed by a favorite of mine, Rachel Maddow.
So I am pursuing more comments on this blog due to the current and possible future state of affairs in the US of D.T. Thus my concern about politics, gays, and women.  I personally have a hard time tolerating him at all.  I am a therapist and would see him as a very damaged client.
So are you worried about the future for LGBT people.  One of my concerns is the entire lack of compassion these politicians and billionaires have for people.  NONE.  Truly, do they all have personality disorders?
I will try to do my part to continue the rights of LGBTQ people.  I am proud to be gay and I am glad to be gay.   As I write tonight, I wanted to let people who do not know about all the awesome video excerpts on youtube.  I have so enjoyed it.  Watching the lesbian videos is very validating to me.  I am no longer in a relationship, and certainly love to be in one,  and these videos can validate some positive relationships (although I know it is tv).  It is somewhat comparable to being an African American person living in a world of white people, and all of a sudden you are in a classroom of  African American students.  Being a Lesbian, I believe I have a similar experience.  I certainly assimilate well in the world, and do not personally care who my friends prefer to be intimate with, but there is a sense of affirmation when with other lesbians - an "I see who you are and validate you" experience, or a sense of familiarity, comfort, sharing.  I'm not exactly sure of the right word.
So, let's get mad, let's make a movement, let's help each other.

Well, I have been absent for some time.  Life.  Still a lesbian.  Still after marriage.  There are some pluses to that as in I have 3 children from my marriage, and now 4 awesome grandchildren.

I have reduced my workload and have more time this year, and have had the END of a relationship which I thought would last forever.  Well, it didn't.  Major loss and grief going on, so time to break out and move on.
As I started to say, however,during this extra time, I've become somewhat obsessed with binge watching and finding lesbian characters.  youtube has been a great tool in helping me expanding my horizons.  There is really more out there than I ever thought.  I have been on Australian TV.

So why the binge watching and focus on the lesbian characters?  It has evolved as none of this was not intentional in the beginning.  But I have been very pleased to find some powerful, gorgeous women and in a way, after feeling beaten down, it is nice to aspire to the powerful again.  These woman characters have helped.

Another aspect is watching how the women treat each other when there is a kindness in the relationship and respect.  Being respected was an issue for me in the last couple of years, so I love seeing relationships where women (and men) treat each other with love and respect.  YES. 

Back in the day - one of my tongue-in-cheek phrases - there was so little to watch and see and it was more shock therapy if there was a same-sex relationship anywhere.  And there was so many obstacles and unhappiness. 
So, check out the internet - google, youtube, find all the characters.  One option is foreign tv also, because they usually have English subtitles.  So, in the process I'm seeing different cultures.  Now, admittedly, a lot of these relationships are founded on thin ice and fall apart easily.  Some are "soap opera" style.  I notice when I see these 18 year olds being lesbians - I honor that, but often times the girls are superficial.  Bothers me.  But I guess even at 18, I wasn't able to do that. 

I will write more later and give you all some ideas of what to watch, but just being back among fellow lesbians has helped.  Therapeutic, so to speak.  There is so much to say and do.  I have also found some Lesbian facebook pages, but not much is going on in that arena.  Dating websites??
Later. 

Again, What is a Lesbian After Marriage

 Lesbian After Marriage

 What with the media, etc., the idea of Lesbians After Marriage has become a little more prominent and acceptable as a concept.  As the times change, the "stigma" or label of being a lesbian changes also.  Has anyone seen Frankie and Grace?  I love it because of the developing relationship between the 2 women, although they aren't the gay people in the show.  It is their 2 husbands, who have been friends for 40 years and now they are coming out.  Quite an interesting show.  So, 2 men vs. 2 women.

 But the media is making it more acceptable.  As we are exposed to more alternative
 lifestyle moments, they become more and more normal. 

Since I wrote my first blogpost, I feel like the world has changed and I have changed.  What do you think? 
I have been in a long-term relationship but unfortunately, I am no longer in one.  I miss the community of lesbian women.  Because I spent developing years living in a straight world, as most of my readers did, I lack the lesbian community that comes from those who played sports together, and went to school together.  I also am just enough older that it was less of a possibility. My friend is 10 years younger and played softball in college and after college and knows a large number of women because of that relationship.  In fact, I just went to a picnic of such a gathering of lesbians who have been friends for all those years.  How nice to have had that affirmation. 

Holidays and Being "Different"

Is it that lonely holiday time for many people?  Almost everyone wants a relationship, but the need often increases over the holidays.  And again, being GLBT sometimes sets people aside from others and leads to other issues of grief, sadness, loss, feeling left out, etc.  As currently, everything around the holidays is set around the "traditional family" which doesn't seem to exist anymore.  But watch the movies, commercials, videos, and people feel different because they don't fit that paradigm.  Although, as I'm writing this, I think of the families I know, and not too many fit the "traditional" anymore.  I work in elementary schools and the kids today really have a rough time because their families are pretty dysfunctional, but the major problem is that the families do not put the children's needs on the list as being important.  This pretty much goes against my belief system as I've always focused on the needs of children.
So the holidays are a time to reach out to people, not be afraid to accept help from others, and do not isolate yourself due to a bad mood, depression, etc.  Accept other people.