Liberal vs. conservative

Perhaps I can keep up with my blog a little better - vacation is here. So, I had a staff member come in to my office and I came out to her today - I have thought about it - I'm in schools. It's amazing how few people I get that thought with. There are many conservative people in the schools and I have no idea how they would respond. Then there is the spider web effect - what happens when parents find out and don't want you to see their children. There are those jobs that there is some liability in coming out.
Today, there was a sense that the woman was giving me permission to tell her - she already had an idea. And if felt good to finally tell her. There is another woman who spends a lot of time talking to me, but she uses words that prohibit me from telling her. Again, conservative.
My "liberal" friend today commented how frustrated she is working and living with people who are "narrow minded" - she would love being around people who are accepting and honor diversity.
As I write this, I know there are gay republicans and I find this confusing. But I guess we all have different values on different issues. I decided awhile ago that I am a conservative liberal.
I have very liberal thinking and am pretty accepting. I have very broad thinking but I actually live and dress conservatively. Confusing, huh. So, perhaps someday I will understand the
"gay republican" because when I think of the republican party, I think of the banning of gay marriage, re-writing state constitutions to ban gay marriage, religious conservatives, and voting for "don't ask, don't tell." So how can one be both??
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Spring is Here!

And with spring, come the urgings for romance. It happens to everyone. I'm pretty sure it's a biological effect along with the new life of spring. We are all literally coming out of the house and the closet. I know I have more energy when the weather improves. More energy often equals wanting to meet new people and have relationships. And you?? I am in a relationship and we tend to do more things in the nicer weather. I would even say my mood improves in the warmer weather where I do not have to wear a winter coat. I also own a convertible so that always brings more fun.
So, take a chance. Go out there and take a chance. Go on a blind date. Get on the lesbian dating sites. Don't be afraid of it. Many people are afraid or refuse to do the internet dating thing, but I believe in it. It's a good way to meet people and yes, you have to be careful. But how else are you going to meet someone? If your friends don't know anyone to introduce you to, the bar is not the best option.
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Life can be Grand!!

Well, how are things going in your lesbian world? Things are going well for me and I'm very glad that I'm living as a lesbian rather than a straight person. It has been a long time since I've been attracted to a male. I have no desire to go back to that. I do believe there is a definite continuum we move along and some people stay near the midddle and fall in the bisexual category, while some move farther and only desire women. Then there are those women who are only attracted to women their whole lives but get married for other reasons.
I think I was definitely attracted to the man I married but it is true that I only gave myself that possibility. What if, at 18, I had considered women, what would I have done? I don't know. But I didn't consider that back then. Again, the continuum theory and that we are somewhat flexible.
But then, there are those women who knew at 12.
When we married first, that gives us other issues to deal with when we come out including family members, spouse, children, in-laws, etc. When we come out as a single person, coming out at 40 is much different than coming out at 15. I guess that's up to each person to decide how difficult that is. Today, many high school students are open about their homosexuality - more girls than boys. As a matter of fact, I see girls exploring that possibility and talking about being gay before they are even sure - dating a girl once and next dating a boy. But unlike me, they are at least open to exploring both possibilities.
And we all have different coming out stories. I was in my 40's, but I have a long-term friend who still feels somewhat betrayed by me because I didn't tell her before about my "journey". I guess it was my choice not to tell people until I was making an outward display of my sexuality by dating women.


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