Holidays and Being "Different"

Is it that lonely holiday time for many people?  Almost everyone wants a relationship, but the need often increases over the holidays.  And again, being GLBT sometimes sets people aside from others and leads to other issues of grief, sadness, loss, feeling left out, etc.  As currently, everything around the holidays is set around the "traditional family" which doesn't seem to exist anymore.  But watch the movies, commercials, videos, and people feel different because they don't fit that paradigm.  Although, as I'm writing this, I think of the families I know, and not too many fit the "traditional" anymore.  I work in elementary schools and the kids today really have a rough time because their families are pretty dysfunctional, but the major problem is that the families do not put the children's needs on the list as being important.  This pretty much goes against my belief system as I've always focused on the needs of children.
So the holidays are a time to reach out to people, not be afraid to accept help from others, and do not isolate yourself due to a bad mood, depression, etc.  Accept other people.

Politics, Gays, and Women!!

Where have I been?  Busy, busy, busy.  I have many interests and not enough time.  I would love to write on all these blogs.  I am a therapist and work with families and write about that. I have grandkids, and of course, I still have a job.  And nowadays, I am very angry and frustrated about stupid politics and all the bizarre things going on against gays and lesbians, and against women.  I mean, really.  Does it make any sense.  Here I will show my politics, but I am so frustrated with the Citizens United, allowing money to buy elections.  Frustrated with the stupid governor of Wisconsin, Mitt Romney and his picking Paul Ryan.  These people have such archaic views and they are really not about helping people.  I find it hard to believe they are so selfish.   Billionaires with not enough power and money.  So sad.  And the law should be telling we women we have to get vaginal probes by doctors whether we want one or not.
Can you tell where I'm coming from?  I am glad we have Tammy Baldwin in Wisconsin - let's home she wins.  Be sure you vote for Democratic house and senate members so we can get rid of Eric Cantor, John Boehner, and Paul Ryan, who were part of stopping everything Obama tried to pass.  Plus many tea party members of congress, making it a 5% approval rating.  Also, I'm one of those people who pays much more than Mitt Romney in taxes!

Rosie, Ellen, K.D.

Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen, K.D.Lang - I think they all knew at an early age, but talk about hiding it and having private parties where they could be themselves, until they all came out, one by one. I watched a couple of movies about lesbian women after marriage - they had been married but then discovered they had this urge while they were still married - they found themselves attracted to someone.  In these movies, it got pretty rough to watch - I guess that is life.  I found that I raised my children after my husband left and then "came out" and started to look to date women. I guess I didn't want people in and out of my children's lives - the stereotype of divorced people these days has many of them moving in with someone quickly and exposing their children to a great deal.  I was attracted to people before that, but they weren't exactly open to the gay aspect anyway.  So the movies were depressing.  I'm not sure how true that is to life?  Is being a lesbian and coming out while married always devastating long term.  The new relationships can't work out because of the old?  I hope not, but I guess it is who your husband is and new partner.  Can people work things out for the kids?  It certainly calls for the husband to put his personal feelings aside for the children.  I know 2 women who were together and the woman stayed married because her husband needed her insurance.  That's pretty mature. And he became friends with the new partner.  Life does throw us many curve balls, doesn't it.  I guess that is what I was getting from the movies, you can wake up in the morning and your whole world can change that day.  Good or bad. Big or small.  Another question this brings up for me is when you are married, how many ways are there to figure out you might be gay - do you fall in love with another woman, do you just find yourself very drawn to another woman, do you just start questioning yourself?  All food for thought.  Some women know when they are very young and why do some not figure it out until later.  Again, I have the continuum theory and I believe I've moved along the continuum to a point I couldn't go back to men, but when I was 22 that was the only world I knew and I was very attracted to my husband, so have I moved along that continuum?  Did I need a husband so I could have 3 wonderful kids? All food for thought. I guess I wouldn't have traded that part of my life where I had my children with their father - we had our good times - and then I get this wonderful life, in a relationship with a great woman for 5 years now.  Gay teen or gay after marriage. Life is life.
Chris    -   Empower Network

Lesbians Seeking Your Best Life!

To Lesbians seeking the best life,Happy New Year to all of you! I have been having a busy new year so far. Guess what, my partner threw me a surprise birthday party this weekend and it was great. I normally would NOT like it, but it turned out great. It was at our house and was very relaxed. I was kind of out of it, as I don't like being the center of attention, but... My wonderful children, spouses, and grandchildren were there and I always love seeing them, and some very good friends were there. And I guess it was great that I didn't have to organize - I just walked into it. There were gay people and straight people there, but I was so impressed by the network of people that I have built in my life. My partner was great, her 2 teen-age boys were great, and my children and friends - all accepting of everyone. There was no division there, no judgment or discrimination. That's the best! And I really do appreciate that and am grateful. Yes, it can happen. If you are at early stages of fear and indecision, I'm here to let you know that it's okay. Start with where you are at, and you will know what to do next if you listen to your gut. Don't let others tell you what you should do. And don't jump, share, tell before you are ready. But don't let fear immobilize you, because, as in Dan Savage's book, even if it starts out bumpy, "It Does Get Better." For me, I think the bumpiest part was telling people that have known me for years, and now, all of a sudden, I am gay. They don't really get that. Some feel betrayed. But everyone I have in my life and where I worked, are fine with it. It helps that I work in a social services field. People tend to be accepting. But each time I go to tell someone, I have some fear. Right now, after being out to many for 10 years, there is a teacher I need to tell as she keeps trying to befriend me, but she also says very conservative ideas, and I'm not sure she will be okay. I don't mind if she can't be okay, but it is STILL hard to tell her.
Chris
Automatic Profit Machine
Empower Network

Profit Machines To Help Improve The World!

Hi, guys (that's a midwest thing, I've heard) Really I mean girls, ladies, etc. What is your preference? So I have Sirius radio in my car for a while and I love it. I'm a bit of a spiritual seeker (actually, more than a bit). I have gotten to hear many of my favorites on the radio while I'm driving. I also listen to progressive talk radio, and outQ radio station. I find it all so interesting, sometimes I sit in my car and listen to the radio longer than I should. I don't do it at home, but definitely in the car. I got a new car this year and it happens to be a Subaru Outback - that brings the jokes about Martina Navratilova, and the fact that Lesbians and Subarus were associated. Although those days are long gone. But Subaru is about outdoor lovers, animal lovers, environment lovers, people of a different thinking. I don't know why, but it is, and it fits. Although I'd prefer that Prius gas mileage.
How about you? What lights your fire? Today on the radio I learned about a program called Wine Into Water which is an engineer trying to help third world countries develop their wells or fix their wells so they have access to clean water - to become self-sustaining. People built the wells, but when they broke, the people had to again walk miles. He is helping them learn to fix them. I also heard about Care which is about empowering girls and women in third world countries, which I love. I was so impressed with the 3 women from underprivileged countries who won Nobel Peace Prizes for the changes they made for women. Impressive. I am working on these internet money-raising programs to enable me to have more money to help pay off debt and to help support making the world a better place. I also am a school counselor and I'm very concerned about the young people who feeled bullied at school for being gay or lesbian. It is truly a travesty. I would hope to develop some programs to help with that. Michelle Bachman's anti-gay philosophy coincides with an increase in the number of teen suicides in her district, along with her husband's anti-gay therapy - taking the gay away! Yikes. A second program which is about people helping each other make money to use for good is called Empower Network. Check It Out!!

A New Year!!

Any New Year's Resolutions this year? Are you thinking about your sexual orientation - are you at the early stages, where you don't know for sure. Ah, yes, I do remember.
It is a difficult time, yet an exciting time. I don't know that I'd want to go back through some of those exciting times, although they are necessary to our growth. But it's true that the infatuation stage makes us crazy. We do and think things we wouldn't normally do. It's all part of the process, but in hindsight, I find it a little exhausting, and when in my rational mind, I don't want to go there again. We all enjoy the fascination and "being in love" feeling, as it's the best feeling in the world, but researchers has found it is equivalent to being high. I think I like stable, but in love better. I remember, with my first "BIG" lesbian love, that I thought I would be with forever, it was crazy. The energy between us was intense, and exhausting. It did calm down, and unfortunately, we broke up, even though I thought it was for a lifetime. Scary stuff, isn't it. Being in a relationship is scary, period. i think that's why so many people these days are getting pets - safe and unconditional love from your pet. I have continued to take risks in interpersonal relationships. I have a number of close friends, and a partner. Now, I am older and she is younger - by 16 years. How does that happen? I have to say, though, I don't know if I would do it again. Perhaps in the future it would be about companionship. Although I think the person I am with is also planning a lifetime commitment and I believe her, but I've learned that sometimes things happen we can't control.
How about you? Are you willing to take chances. Do you have your wall up, your big toe dipped in the water, or have you jumped all the way in, or are you willing to jump all the way in, just don't have the opportunity yet? Think about it and make some decisions. You are in control of your destiny, not others. Take chances, or don't take chances. Let joy in, or be safe and in control.